Dangers and Obstacles of Going Commando at Work

It has been a while since I've put up a post (started working and trying to get my life together) but this is a little something to wet your appetite until I can get back to the good stuff.

1. Two words. Hot. Coworker.
2. Shifting in your desk chair causes things to get trapped.
3. Sweaty legs on the car ride home.
4. Friction.

more to come...

The Work Saga: Day One

So I finally joined the workforce today and officially began my summer. I went back to the same office, back to the same desk I had been at for the past two summers, back to the same stuff I had been doing for the past two summers...certification tracking. Just like old times, but with a twist...all new staff. Hooray for new hires! It's interesting meeting new people when you've been at an office about as long as they have, just over an extended period of time. They think the office belongs to them, but you have more stories and more history. And to add to that, the ladies that work in the office are just grown high schoolers (that's for you boss lady). Two of them are Chatty Kathys. I never experienced the typical office gossipers, but these two are definitely giving me a great introduction to what the real world holds. But back to the high schooler comparisons. These two spend more time talking about the creepy guys they have following them, or that they met on their weekly Thursday night adventures (by the way, both of these women are in their late 30s), or squealing about a weird text or Facebook message, than what is socially acceptable. I figured once you left twelfth grade that things would get better...I have been delightfully been proven wrong. Like my dad always says, "people never leave high school, they just get a little bigger and drive nicer cars."

It's always weird coming back to a summer job, especially since they've been temporary assignments every time, usually no more than a month. But there's nothing like traveling out to West Sacramento to spend your day checking up with obscure projects all over the West. Relearning the ropes didn't take that long, but getting back into the flow of having to work for more than an hour was the big struggle.

Day One. Only about fifteen or twenty more...

Ode to the Tramp Stamp

(This post was started on July 4th. But lack of internet stops even the greatest of beginning bloggers.)

Happy Independence Day America! Now that I'm a college student, I celebrate by going to the beach and by bumping up my UV intake. The family and I went out to beautiful Malibu for some special time at Zuma Beach. And it was here that I was reunited with an old friend; the tramp stamp.

(Sidebar: For those who have forgotten, the tramp stamp is/was an identifying mark of the early 2000s. Reserved for the whores, sluts, strippers and other females that felt the need to brand themselves accordingly; the tramp stamp is a tattoo positioned right above a lady's butt crack. It enjoyed quite a bit of success and ladies all over were adorning themselves with this most wonderful piece of permanence. From flowers, to stars, to butterflies and other cutesy things, the tramp stamp was truly remarkable.)

Dear Tramp Stamp,

You are truly missed. Seeing you on the backs of those three slightly pudgy ladies at the beach in Malibu took me back to a simpler time, and I thank you for that. As much as I hate to admit, you and the tribal tattoos of yesteryear were what sparked my interest in tattoos and led to me getting inked up. Thank you for giving women a reason to wear bikinis or to bear their midriffs more. So much good came from you that it is a shame that you were taken down in your prime. Make a comeback. Let's bring it back to the good times!

Lovingly Yours,

Bryson Gauff

What Not to Wear - Hair That Makes You Stronger

"We are doing this to make you stronger." These words were uttered by a cosmetologist with long, flowing blonde hair to a 50 year old after this 50 year old was crying because her large 80s hair had recently been cut.

More on this later.

Intro plus Jon and Kate plus 8

This is my first blog entry and it really is just an outlet to present all my thoughts on the world. I have no clue what is supposed to be blog-approved commentary but this is being done at the urging of my sister and Phi.

But what the hell is everyone's fascination with TLC's Jon and Kate plus 8 (J&K+8)? I made the mistake of sitting down this 4th of July weekend at my sister's apartment and watching some episodes. (Sidenote: TiVo is one of the greatest inventions of my lifetime, but it allows for the repeated watching of crap like J&K+8. But I'll continue.) First of all, why does a family of 10 deserve a weekly show to account what is a regular happening like having children? Oh, there's 8 of them, how special. Secondly, I hope I am not the only one that thinks Kate is a complete bitch. My opinion is based only on two episodes and all the tabloids that have covered all the divorce stuff, so I'm definitely biased. I have never seen a woman got out of her way to steal the spotlight like Ms. Gosselin. I will have a separate post on all the reasons why she needs to be removed from the public eye later. After watching the episode in which the whole family went back to the hospital where all the kids were delivered and hearing Kate retell every detail of every room they lived in, I developed a newfound hatred for her. This woman can tell you that the bed in her room was pushed against the wall instead of sticking out into the center of the room, but she cannot keep her marriage together. Attention to detail is attention to detail, but perhaps it is a little misplaced.